Last week, Sher and I were in bed at 3am, talking about what qualities we'd put in our stepford boyfriends, if we were to create any. I said that mine had to be self-sufficient and motivated, with a goal in life.

Shereen's? He just had to have a car.

Oh how we laughed at the shallowness but I am belatedly realising her wisdom. Girls with boyfriends with cars have the ultimate chauffeur service. Which I could use for tomorrow as a last-minute moving in service. Are there boyfriend with car rentals for the day?

Just for the day, cause I like my unfortunately car-less boyfriend for the long haul, though he is rather evil. Today he made me laugh so hard I got indigestion. Urggggghhhh.

It is comforting to think that each moment is a self-contained universe and every single taste, smell or emotion of any experience you’ve ever had or are about to have are perfectly preserved destinations, if only we had an open return ticket. I suppose we’re all doomed to have unhealthy habits we’ll never grow out of, unworthy people we’ll never get over and unscrupulous thoughts that’ll never go away.

If it hurts so much, there must be a greater reason for why there are some things we can’t bring ourselves to forget.

So Scott got a fortune cookie for us each yesterday, and we split it.

His fortune: Don't be complacent. Continue to strive for the best.
My fortune: Watch your diet. Do not overindulge.

The people who claim to be my best friends since Sec 1 (aka Manda and Lin) nodded sagely and agreed that the fortunes were both very appropriate. Thanks ah. Hahaha.

And then I proceeded to overindulge in a kofta kebab with fries, having already shared a dish of hummus and lamb with Scott. Well I ate all the tomatoes at least!! Lin was keeping Scott updated on the tomato progress after he had left (whose side are you on ah!) and he sent me disappointed messages that made me down them all -.-

Anyway Marhaba is nice! The place is a lot cozier than Al-Majlis - comfy booth seats with cushions which is great if you have snuggly friends like I do. Prices are about the same though portions are smaller. Food is okay-yummy but I'm still sick so it could have just been me. Was very tired out from the incessant giggling and Manda's and my MLTR MTV:P 

I think people nowadays are so used to bitching behind other people's backs that the thought of a face-to-face confrontation terrifies them. I hate having to fill in the blanks and second-guess motives and actions all the time. The world would be so much easier if people could just say outright how they feel, toss it all into the open, get it resolved and move on. But noooo. Sulking and huffing and namby-pambying and switching faces are today's modus operandi. It is very exhausting and I have no patience for it.

I hate arguing as much as the next person. You need to pick your fights and decide if something is worth potentially jeopardizing an outwardly placid relationship for. But the only time I would deliberately step away from a personal confrontation is when I decide I cannot be bothered with you anymore.

And that, normally, is final.

Possibly the worst week ever. Very glad to see the back of it. Here comes happy :D:D:D

In other news, I have taken to calling my boyfriend Scottub. Because of what it spells backward. Add with his surname and it becomes quite funny. Hehe.

Oh we went to Wendy's today. It's very affordable for better fast food!

As just between us, things are ideal. But is an ideal all we'll ever amount to?
What good is an ideal if it doesn't stand in the real world?

I can't believe you couldn't come up with a realistic best case scenario. Your worst case scenario came quickly enough.

All our problems stem - have ever stemmed - from one person. Seriously. Every single serious disagreement we've ever had can be traced back to her. She dictates your life and your misery which dictates mine. It is demeaning and destroying.

I wish loving you meant that I could lift you from the rut but the reality is that I'm being sucked right into the quagmire. I love you to the point of stupidity but even a lovefool like me can see that the circumstances are taking its toll. It's so damn bloody unfair. If it was just us two in a vacuum everything would be amazing.



What a total FML week. I'm terrified about where tomorrow will take me.

I know it's not your fault but fault isn't an issue if nobody wants to blame anybody. It's like running over your neighbour's crazy cat even after checking all your blind spots. They're not blaming you but it doesn't change the fact that the cat is dead.

I can't breathe I don't know how much longer I can take this I don't know who to talk to 

Tiring past two days. Got KICKED OUT OF SHEREEN'S ROOM LAST NIGHT OMG. So annoying. Long story short some RAs are assholes and they filed a report on us and we have to go see OSA for disciplinary action. Why? First because they told me I was breaking the rules by overnighting - until I pointed out that the rule only stated that visitors weren't allowed past eleven and since it was only ten plus it would be fine if I left. Then they changed tack and went by the unattended visitor nonsense, cause Sher went to see CZ and I was alone in her room.

LIKE, WTH?!?!?!?!! I'm not even some smelly dude snuck onto the girls floor for a quick fuck (unlike so many of the guys I used to see on my floor when I stayed there), what is WRONG with these people?! Gaah.

Anyway stayed over cause I had MT last night (last week I was so shagged after MT and coming back home in Pasir Ris after 11 that I overslept and missed my 10am tutorial). It was fun, tiring and bruise-y. Even fewer girls than there were last week! The trainer taught us a bit of MMA after that - I now know how to choke someone:D Always useful. 

Today was another grouchy schoolday. Because of last night's rooming fiasco I skimmed through and didn't get to finish all the readings so PL wasn't great:( Equity is as usual terrible. Wtf is going on there? Doesn't help that my senior says she still doesn't get what it's about after she'd completed the course. 

Mood vastly improved after that though! Mel and I went on an impromptu date which involved eating yummy food and perfume-shop hopping. And she gave me a tube of strawberry body polish yay:D I'm going to come out of the shower smelling like strawberry jam:D

Now tired, achey and have a cough. Going to sleep. Night!

Got my Heidelberg :D



(: (: (:

I really hope it works out! Come March 2011 hopefully, I'll be cycling to school across the Old Bridge past the castle onto the ancient cobblestones of the gorgeous city. 

I suppose if Malay is my surrogate mother tongue, Arabic would be my long-lost birth mother and German would be the adoptive mother. Can't help it, I somehow find my way back to all three at different times. Especially to Baden-Wuerttemberg, which has inadvertently become my home state. Of course, also motivating my decision to put it as first choice was the cost (where else can you find 200euro per month rent?) and a CASTLE at your doorstep! Great place to travel from (it's close to France and Switzerland) and I will be forced to get off my lazy ass and become fluent in German again. They have an amazing range of electives that I can't do here - it's a civil law country for starters. I get to pick from amazing things like Roman Law, Forensic Medicine for Lawyers, German Legal History, International Organisations, Forensic Psychiatry, Intro to Arabic Law, EXEGESIS, etc etc. Let's not even start on the 12 credits of non-law modules I'm allowed in my entire degree which I plan to exercise fully there:D

Also, it would have been my top-choice school if I'd ended up in Germany post-As. I feel I've given up quite a bit to stick around here and become a lawyer, it's like I'm claiming something back.

Of course there are downsides. Studying law in German - like it's not hard enough in English -.- I hope I don't feel totally lost once the German legal jargon starts flying about! Not just being the only person going, but the first - nobody to tell me how this works, so if I screw something up it's on my own head:s And the timing is really strange. The semester runs from March to August. which means I might miss the first month of fourth year. That wouldn't be too bad if not for the fact that I'll be out of the country once people start applying for pupillage>.< Erp.

If not for that I'd be damn happy with the time period though. I'M MISSING WINTER COMPLETELY! No freezing temperature, no bulky clothes, more space in my luggage:D

And I've seen what you make for money and I've seen what you do for fame. I've seen what you do to make people like you and I've seen what you swallow to ease the pain. I've heard what you say out of malice and I've heard what you spat out of spite.

But none of these things make you happy because not one was done for love.

Wrt to my 21 before 21 list. Fighting classes have begun! Wehian and I are still in agony four days later. >.< MT is not just physically demanding but it takes a lot of focus -  my brain felt so tired after that. And I can't walk down stairs without wincing still.

My pilgrimage one may fail though. The Saudi embassy I need a husband to go with me, cause I've no male relatives. ARGH.

This week has been great (: Nad brought me KEBABS for lunch on Wednesday and then Sher came over and we had Island Creamery! Impromptu dinner with my Scott :D Today I had pro bono and this little girl made me a paper crane :D